Robin Romm

The Mercy Papers is a very real, gritty, in your face book about the 3 weeks Robin spent with her mother, father, assorted friends and pets before her mother’s death. Robin expresses her anger and outrage at the cancer metastasizing through her mom’s body because her mom at some point decides to end medical treatment and stop fighting. Robin is furious at Barbara, the aide who encourages over-medicating, at her father for not being present and on top of things when her mother was first show more diagnosed.

No age is a good age to lose a parent but Romm, a college student at the time was much too young to deal with the aggressive end stages of her mother’s life. Thankfully, her mother’s friends, and her own friends spent time with her and her father, helping Robin’s mother with her breathing treatment, and whatever the family needed.

Robin ponders and rails against the unfairness of a remarkably brilliant, beautiful, capable wife, mother, lawyer and friend suffering for years from the pain, indignities and hideousness of worsening disease. But Robin would do anything to keep her mother alive another day, and another day. Even after years of her mother’s cancer ravaging their lives, Robin is still not ready for her to die in her 40's!

Heart-breaking story of terrible loss, of family and friends, and so much love. show less

Fierce, emotional, and painful, this book is Romm's recounting of her mother's last three weeks before dying of breast cancer. Her mother was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer when Romm was only 19. She lived for nine more years. Nine short years. Nine not-nearly-enough years. But then she died, slowly, painfully, and too soon. Romm tells roughly not only of her mother's last three weeks but also the ways in which her mother's dying affected her. She was angry and selfish and bitter, show more raging against the universe and the hospice nurse and her mother's longtime friends and her father and herself.

This is not an easy book to read, despite its slight size. It is packed with incredible depth of emotion, such that sometimes the reader has to take a breather, the very thing that Romm could not do, could not afford to do, in the time of her mother's dying. And as much as this is the memoir of a woman dying, it is also very much the story of Robin Romm, the daughter losing her mother. It is peppered with memories and remembrances, because even before her mother is physically gone, she is no longer the mother Romm knew, instead floating on a sea of pain killers and barely conscious. Romm does not sugar-coat her feelings about the people surrounding her mother. She is oftentimes nasty and snipes at them, either on the page or in fact. She is selfish, not wanting to share her mother, wanting her to be present as long as she can. Throughout, it is clear that she is devastated and fighting no matter the cost. This book is raw, it is angry, it is philosophical, and it probably isn't for everyone. But it is well-written and intense and true too. The final twelve pages of the book, blank because loss never ends, are stark reminders of the hole left behind for Romm and her family, and really for all of us. And those readers who don't shy away from the pain depicted here will find a gem. show less

This is a hard book to read. It is an unflinching look at the loss of a mother by a daughter who is decidedly NOT ready to lose her mother. And yet, it is a very true look. Loss is wrenching - and often we are exposed at our worst. We rail against the inevitably of death. Ms. Romm shares one of those life-defining moments in ways that resonate and repel. We don't want to be there with her - and yet, many of us are there with her in our own life experiences. A very honest feeling book.

Robin Romm has been dealing with her mother's breast cancer for about a third of her life. Her mother, who was a successful attorney until she became too sick to work, has entered the end stage of the disease and this book is the author's account of mother's final weeks. The memoir is in turns angry and sad. The sadness of course is the grief she feels regarding her mother's death, but most of the anger is directed toward the hospice program that is caring for her mother. Since hospice care show more is generally discussed with reverence with rarely a negative word said about it, I found this to be an especially thought-provoking part of the book. Oddly enough, one of the most affecting sections of the book has nothing to do with her mother's death, but rather Romm's search for a dog. She seems so desperate for the unconditional love of a dog, possibly a surrogate for the motherly love she is about to lose, that it is heartbreaking to read of her struggles to find one. show less