Sawako Ariyoshi (1931–1984)

This Japanese novel was originally published in 1972, but many aspects felt very much from today. The novel follows Akiko a middle-aged wife and mother whose father-in-law becomes senile and his care falls to Akiko. So many themes here--taking care of the elderly, quality of life and indignities in aging, the sandwich generation, how care responsibility often falls on women, and the bewilderment of the system of elder care. I would be reading along in this novel and would learn a bit about show more Japanese culture in he 20th century only to then be struck by Akiko's story and how familiar it felt to the experience here in the US in the 21st century.

This wasn't exactly a feel-good novel. In fact, it dredged up a whole lot of feelings and made want to give my brother a hug for all he does for our mother in Southern California every day. And this book also made me re-experience that year of bewilderment and pain our family had when Mom fell ill and we had to make the decision to put her in a senior home. A piece of advice--get your parent a good geriatric attorney to help you sort everything out. I'll be visiting her here in just a few weeks. For years, I called my Mom every single day but she is at that point now where she can't call me anymore, and if I talk to her on the phone she won't stay on for long. This summer I visited I had the opportunity to sit with her for a couple of hours, and it was the first time in a long time that we seemed to have a real conversation like we did for so many years. I miss my Mom. And I take a little comfort from some scenes with Akiko that sometimes you just need to hold on to these small moments--one where she finds her father-in-law looking at a beautiful magnolia blossom or the small joy he gets from watching a bird they buy him. show less

This novel is a slow, careful telling of how one Japanese family deals with an aging family member, Shigezo. I was interested in the reactions of closest family members - Akiko (the daughter-in-law and primary caregiver), Nabutoshi (the son), and Satoshi (the grandson) - to Shigezo's increasing senility and loss of bodily functions. Maybe I found it intriguing because I'm a nurse? As I was reading, I did note the differences of care-giving and involvement in this example within the Japanese show more culture as opposed to how I perceive the same family situation would have played out in my own country, the United States.

There are two apt quotes about aging in this novel that I want to share:

1. “I really hate the (senior) Centre. All I see there are old people.”

My dad refused to participate in "senior" activities when he was in his sixties because he also had that perception. It's funny how people see "age" over "individuals".

2. "It suddenly occurred to her that perhaps it was because the elderly were not needed that their situation was so pathetic."

The latter quote hit me unusually hard because it was during my reading of this book that I myself was laid off from my employment (at age 66) and forced into sudden and unexpected retirement. What irony!

Nevertheless, for those who love learning about social issues, other cultures, and do not mind the absence of high drama in a novel, this book is quite beautiful and worth the read. show less

The strength of this book is as a family saga that broadly focuses on three generations of women. It paints the life of a family living through the tumultuous Meiji era. Although its prose flows quite smoothly, it doesn't have a discernible plot and the narrative distance from its characters is substantial. Therefore, those who like a more intimate connection with their characters might be disappointed.

(Side note: This is the era of my grandparents who were also farmers. I saw some cultural show more similarities between aspects of the book and my family's life like persimmons and grafting fruit trees.) show less

I read this splendid novel about 20 years ago, and now that I'm old myself (!) I want to re-read it. This is what I wrote about it in 1989:

A novel of the dilemma of aging in modern Japanese society and a moving depiction of the role of woman in post-war Japan. Ariyoshi quietly champions the situation of a middle-aged married woman who also works outside the home and who must suddenly shoulder the responsibility of caring for her aged, senile father-in-law.

The story unfolds without show more unnecessary dramatics or self-pity, yet reveals the strength of women in dealing with life itself, which in this case means dealing with death. The everydayness in the novel is subtle, yet unexpectedly striking, similar to that special quality in Ozu Yasujiro's movies, capturing life without romance, making the statement that it is not life's high and low moments of drama, but rather its complete mundanity which one must transcend. Individual humanity lies only rarely in heroic acts or works of genius, but more commonly resides in our everyday actions, such as caring for family members.

Excellent literature.
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