Funny Requests from patrons
TalkLibrarians who LibraryThing
Join LibraryThing to post.
This topic is currently marked as "dormant"—the last message is more than 90 days old. You can revive it by posting a reply.
1dara85
Washing Elephants
The Lion With the Wardrobe
Less Miserables
The Hiding Place by Carrington Boone
2booksinbed
"It was a blue book . . . "
or
"It was about so big . . . "
Honest.
3librarykitty
One that I get from one user is the request of the price of the print versions of the LC Schedules, DDC, and (today) Cutter tables. No one recognizes him, so I don't know if he's a retired librarian or just want cataloging materials to keep him company.
4Ui_Niall
" I need that book that's called Shakespeare, but it's spelled with a "Ch" and the author starts with M..."
Fortunately, I was in my groove that day, and it only took me a few seconds to figure out that the patron wanted the book Chesapeake, written by James Michener. *grin* Gotta love being a librarian!
6DromJohn
"I want the Edwards book" Gave her the 4th ed. of Legal writing : process, analysis, and organization
"No, I want the blue book." which, we translated to be The Bluebook.
After a couple of minutes, we finally figured out that the patron wanted the 3rd ed. of Legal Writing. Why the patron didn't want the 4th is another matter.
8lucien
I'm not a librarian, but I used to work in a bookstore. I could never get over how many people would ask for a book without knowing anything else about it other than the color. I had one patron ask me for book she thought had some red on the cover. The only other thing she could come up with after a few minutes of questioning was that she "thought there was a murder in it".
We used to keep a list of some of the real good ones, but sadly I've forgotten many of them. I do fondly remember "Who wrote Dante's Inferno?" and "Do you sell birthday cakes?"
9shmjay
The LC schedules cost about $40 a volume, and as there are about 42 volumes or more, some costing as much as $50 a volume, it can set you back $1700+. But there is a discount if you buy the whole set.
http://www.loc.gov/cds/classif.html
The DDC costs $375.
The Cutter tables, as used by LC, can be found in any good textbook on cataloguing, but the Cutter-Sanborn 3-Figure Author Tables are a book. I don’t know where to find how much they cost.
10LibrarysCat
We also get the red book, green book, big book, small book questions A LOT.
11misskate
12Nycticebus
My favorite from our library here:
A student was urgently looking for music by a composer known as "W.C." Puzzled, the ref librarian called the music librarian, who asked a few more questions. Eventually he worked it out: Debussy.
13FionaCat
Tequila Mockingbird
How to Kill a Mockingbird
We All Fall Down (for Things Fall Apart)
Lord of the Rings (for Lord of the Flies)
Lord of the Files
We also get interesting variations on "I want to renew my book". My favorite is "I want to make the fining stop."
14Nycticebus
I explained that people rarely posed for photos when escaping slavery (nor did those illegally assisting them). I do think she had in mind that some sort of subway train was involved. In the end I think we settled for a reproduction of a newspaper lithograph showing slaves being guided to freedom.
15baconfreelibrary First Message
17Ladedi
20book58lover
21Nycticebus
http://libr.org/juice/amusing.html
22ShellyS
Bonfire of the Vampires.
Which sounded more interesting to me than the actual book wanted: Bonfire of the Vanities, of course.
Not a mistake, but thinking about the postcard days, I remember how hard it was to get the staff to remember to check that patrons filled in their names and addresses when they handed in the cards. One day, a woman complained to me (I was the branch librarian) that she never got her reserves and we had a lousy service. I pulled out a 2-inch stack of unaddressed postcards and asked if hers were in it. She looked through it and found about 10 of her reserves. At least she had the good grace to apologize. Computerized reserves have really helped.
23dulcibelle
24ellevee
Her older brother had given her an... alternate name for The Cat In The Hat. At least, that's what she says. The librarian was not amused. I still think it's funny.
25marfita
26ellevee
27charlotteg
Common ones are "I don't know the title or name, but it was blue & on THAT table at Christmas."
Or the customers who come in & just say "I am looking for a book."
My response. I am going to need just a little bit more information. :P
28inkdrinker
I worked in a record store all through my (many) undergraduate years and we would get many crazy folks into the store on a regular basis. The overall most common silly request was; " Can you help me find this song? I don't know what it's call or who sings it, but it's about love."
29Scratch
I've also had a patron ask for "a book by Huckleberry Finn."
My favorite, though, was the ponytailed young girl who marched up to the ref desk and announced, "I want to donate my hair." We were very busy at that moment and I was temporarily completely baffled, until I remembered the Locks of Love organization that makes wigs for cancer patients.
30Scratch
Ha. One man asked me for a photo of Benjamin Banneker (b. 1731, d. 1806).
31ReaderLori
32pandora22
33marfita
34echristian5
I have always wondered if we should not add a "tag" that would include the color of the book....not just the stuff about size, which nobody every uses,,,even if the color might vary with new binding. Maybe binding should always be in the original color.
35Marzipants99
This is a brilliant thread :)
37mlfhlibrarian
38stepintomythimble
One day a woman called me because a back yard that connected to hers was being excavated. She thought she saw train tracks being dug up, and was wondering whether the house had been on the underground railroad.
Not considering the obvious fact there, this was also in a geographical region where the underground railroad had never operated.
I also worked in a big urban medical center's archives, and was frequently asked which room so-and-so died in.
39fnrlr1
A woman came in and wanted a picture "of people crossing the Bering Land Bridge". After my colleague had picked her jaw up off the ground, she explained tactfully that photography hadn't been invented then.
My fave back when I was working the reference desk at my local public library:
A young man came up to the desk where I was working. The reference desk was situated towards the front of the library and in back of us in all directions were bookshelves stretching away into infinity. He said:
"Do you have any books here?"
I didn't laugh, but I wanted to :-)
P.S. I would definitely read a book entitled "Bonfire of the Vampires" :-)
40Nycticebus
future freshman - "um, do you have the books for a class?"
me - it's possible, do you have a list of titles?"
ff - "no...."
me - "that's ok, we can usually look them up at the campus bookstore site. What's the name of the class?"
ff - "well, I haven't really chosen my classes yet."
me - ".....??....."
ff - "oh yeah, well, I guess I sorta thought, oh, well, never mind."
me - (laughing) "well, maybe browsing in the bookstore will help you choose your class!"
ff - "oh Yeah! that's it, great idea!!" (leaves happily)
moral of the story - if we can't answer the question, we'll try to answer a different question.
41timepiece
42kqueue First Message
I think I sprained a muscle in my face trying not to laugh.
44lauraleigh First Message
I am currently a librarian, but tech services so I rarely get asked the stupid questions.
But once upon a time as a bookstore employee, someone asked me for "a blue book, and the author has a funny name". Amazingly, I found it - it was the latest Kinky Friedman title.
45Nycticebus
(that's a thought - has anyone every had a patron ask for a book about a surrealist monk from Tibet...?)
46ShellyS
Today a gentleman asked me for mysteries by "that famous author, you know, Agnes Christine." I repeated it to be sure I heard correctly. Yes, he insisted. Do you mean, perhaps, Agatha Christie? I asked. Yes, that was exactly who he meant.
47tinylittlelibrarian
Teen boy: "I need a book about steroids." I give him the call number. He comes back a bit later, saying he couldn't find anything. I sternly ask if he looked for the right number (mean librarian, I know) and it turns out he wanted.... books on Star Wars. Ooops.
48Anneli
New England School of Law
http://portia.nesl.edu/screens/well_its_redbks.html
And here is Dave Pattern's Perl script:
http://webcat.hud.ac.uk/perl/colour.pl
You must use hex values of colours there. Here are the hex values if you want to experiment:
http://www.htmlgoodies.com/tutorials/colors/article.php/3478961
49FFortuna
51FFortuna
There was also one time a man asked for "Hawthorne Heights," as in the band, instead of either Wuthering Heightsor Nathaniel Hawthorne. He couldn't remember which.
52FionaCat
53foggidawn
"Do you have any Berenstain Bears books? Sorry, I can't remember the name of the author. . ."
55LewisTheLibrarian First Message
sorry to disappoint, but i've had a pet Donkey Oatie for years!
56leadmomma First Message
Hummm, not part of our collection....
57mokelley First Message
58becbart
59queenazura First Message
Regarding the request for a photo of the underground railroad, I had someone ask me for a photo of Jesus. Not a painting, not an artistic impression (since I asked this) but an acutal photograph.
The other amusing thing I thought of sprang to mind when reading the comment about hog-calling. I had someone ask for a book on taxidermy, but he didn't want one for large animals, but for small ones, like squirrels.
60FFortuna
61jewinda
Overheard in a bookstore today:
Customer asks for "some book, I dunno what it was but the movie was on Pay TV (cable) the other day". He couldn't remember anything else - no plot, no title, no actors. The 2 sales asst's were incredibly patient - much more than I would have been! - and gently suggested that if he could remember a little more then they could try and help. The man then walks away in a huff muttering to his wife "Maybe if they spent less time gossiping and more time reading they could do their jobs properly" Nice, huh.
I got asked (public library) if we had any books on propagating marijuana a little while back. Managed to stifle a chuckle and suggest he try the internet.
62Nycticebus
At our college library, we often encounter students who don't want to read an assigned book. They'll ask if there's a book-on-tape version, a video, a plot-summary, etc. Once a student asked whether just reading the Amazon reviews wouldn't be good enough.
Over the summer a student stopped at the desk for help locating an assigned novel that had been stolen from the collection. I explained her options, each of which would have required either expense or time that she wasn't prepared to give up. Finally, she said, pen and notebook at the ready "can't you just tell me what happens in the story?"
63Unreachableshelf
65judylou
Love it!
66caslib
67mschuyler
68aesop First Message
1 "How do you milk bats?"
2 "What kind of hinges should I put on my shed?"
The first query I made safe by finding out that it is in fact illegal to keep bats as pets in the UK. (I don't know if that implies that it's necessarily illegal to keep them as a dairy herd though.) However he is now duly informed.
The second one I had a little chat with him about what the door was made of, how big etc, and, um, what he was keeping in the shed. Crucial factors.
69aesop
70circeus
71Morphidae
72bibberly
"I went to Mr. So-and-so's room, and he's not there. Where would he be instead?" Then they get irritated when I say that he might be at lunch, but he could be pretty much anywhere for all I know.
I also have lots of students asking for fiction where a kid dies.
73ellevee
I nearly cried. Seriously.
74FionaCat
Yes, I think students assume that we know EVERYTHING in the library. Even though most of the time we are out of the loop...
The other day I had a girl ask for "that book that my friend had at the end of last year, the one about all kinds of facts and stuff." She thought it was blue. After quite a bit of questioning and brainstorming we figured out she was looking for Pick me up, which is RED.
75lmmvirago First Message
My favorite non-book request was the person who asked a colleague if she would take her to a grocery store to buy a pork roast. The patron also wanted to know if she could cook it in the staff room when they got back. No and uh, no.
Early in my career I got asked a question by one of our long term homeless patrons. She wanted the UFO book that had a picture of her father in it because he was the first person to ever fly over the Antarctica in a UFO. Being young, I thought fast on my feet. I commented that she must be very proud of him. We never found the book, but she went away very happy!
76FFortuna
77tinylittlelibrarian
78bitter_suite
79mschuyler
80circeus
81Donogh
To my own surprise (and probably to my colleagues' detriment I reached back to the shelving trolley and pulled out the book (something on programming - C++ maybe) and handed it over!
84dcmdale
... and, in the technical community, are frequently referred to by that animal. I have the "Polar Bear" book and the "Rhino" book sitting on my desk right now. The animal is also on the spine so that you can find the "Camel" book on a shelf.
85lovelytoreadyou
86mkayrice First Message
Now that I work in a library, I've had the following requests:
A photograph of Jesus
A biography on Murray Currie (I guess that's Marie's less well-known brother)
A request for a pink book with an elephant on it about telling time (I actually knew which one she was talking about, but it was a hippo)
A guide book to help a patron identify the little people that she sees on her lawn (I swear I can't make this stuff up!) When I finally suggested a book called "Things that Never Were" I actually felt bad thinking the woman was going to be offended by that title! Boy, I had to have a my own reality check after that one.
A woman told me that God was telling her that she couldn't read The Witch of Blackbird Pond because she got a shock when she tried to take it off the shelf.
We also had a patron looking for The Wonderful Wizard of Oz to share with her kids before seeing some kind of display at the mall. We didn't have the book, but when my colleague suggested the movie, the woman said, "They made that into a movie?" Proof positive that aliens walk among us!
87mhasel
88Dragonfly
We kept getting requests for the birth certificates of famous people such as George Washington. After the first few times we realized that some educator had come up with an assignment where the kids were to collect information on their person and then make up a document that person would have if they lived in modern times. Clever idea. Unfortunately, the kids didn't quite get the point. Even more so, their mothers, coming in to get the stuff for them, didn't get the point.
89ellevee
Also, someone asked for fabric to make curtains.
90Unreachableshelf
91lovelytoreadyou
92tandyk
93jmgold
94bitter_suite
Me (on the phone): Hello, reference. May I help you?
Patron: Is this is the reference department?
95kicking_k
I remember two particular conversations from my bookshop days.
A lady thought she wanted "Pole Star" or maybe "Northern Star" as a present for her father. Did she mean "Northern Lights" (aka The Golden Compass? She thought so. I described the setting. No, no, she wanted a book about a ship.
Fortunately I could work that one out: Star of the Sea. (Though I later found out there's a short story by Arthur Conan Doyle called "The Captain of the Pole-Star"... but I'm pretty sure we got it right.)
Another time: "Do you have 'Around Human Women'?" Who was the author? The lady didn't know, but the book had been mentioned on Women's Hour on Radio 4 - she was sure about the title, but hadn't caught the author's name. Nothing came up on the computer.
We went through various possibilities, but nothing sounded right to her. I was baffled. The next day, we got a delivery of lots of copies of Jane Juska's A Round-Heeled Woman. Sigh.
96HoldenCarver
"Well, we don't serve any tea in here, but there's a coffee shop just outside."
Turned out that she was looking for where the section with authors with surnames beginning with the letter 'T' were. Whoops. She saw the funny side, though.
97differentbeat
1) Just yesterday I got the hard candy question, prefaced by, "This might sound weird, but do you have any..."
2)Once, a woman came in doing research for a class. She had to write a paper about Mexico. When I searched our card catalogue, it brought up results for New Mexico as well, and as I was scrolling past them, I said, "Oh, these are about New Mexico, so you won't want those." To which she replied, "Well...what's NEW Mexico?" I felt like I deserved a medal for explaining, very calmly, "A U.S. state?"
3)A young girl came in the other day for a school paper. She said she'd just read a book called Night by Elie Wiesel, and she thought this holocaust thing was fascinating...did we have any more books about that? How about movies?
4)An older lady came in and asked me for "that book by the author with the bald head and the beard." I informed her that, sadly, I had no way to search by physical description of the author in my catalogue.
5)A gentleman coming in telling me that he was looking for a 'big thick book' by an author whose last name was 'Michaels' and that he's written lots and lots of books. Fortunately, I was on my game that day, and after a little probing, we discovered he meant James Michener's Chesapeake.
6)A patron asking why we couldn't have a bell dinging when a ticket number for the computers pops up. I said, "Well, sir...um...it's a library?"
I'll probably think of and add more later. I get a few every day. :)
98kaelirenee
There was the patron who wanted to know where to find a book about gods. After about 15 minutes, I weedled out of him that he needed a book that compared Buddhism and Jainism.
Another patron wanted to know why he couldn't find obituaries for James Dean on Proquest Historical Newspapers, even though he had so dilligently set the limiter...to the day James Dean died. I had to explain that generally, obituaries don't come out until at least the next day...thank goodness he said it before I did..."I'm an idiot!"
And of course, the patron who needed an explination in a sentence or two as to why God allows bad things to happen (I am not exagerating) for her Intro to Theology class. I tried to explain as calmly as I could that that is essentially what her entire class is about.
As one of my friends (a highschool librarian) points out to me...this is the cream of the crop.
99fleurdiabolique
Could the answer to 4 possibly have been Shel Silverstein? IIRC, there's a big picture of him on the back of most of his books, and he is bald with a beard...
100tristero1959
101differentbeat
102theAshLad
103missylc
104FionaCat
105nickhoonaloon
On one occasion, a young doctor approached her desk with a book contaning a picture of a male reproductive organ. With the ability of the young to unwittingly tempt fate he handed the picture over and asked "Can I have it enlarged ?"
You can hardly blame her for making a joke, though I gather it wasn`t well-received !
106Ui_Niall
107Ui_Niall
A patron who wanted the book that said that SHE (Mary) was the mother of Jesus.
Photographs of obscure African American Inventors from pre-1860.
108ellevee
'Why is the book 35 dollars?'
'Is Fifty there? Can I speak to him? I want to say hi!'
Then, when we closed off the section for the signing, and people were PISSED.
'I'm sorry, the section is closed. Can we find a book for you?'
'I just want to browse.'
'I'm sorry, we can't let anyone in.'
'What about me? Can't I go in?'
'No. Nobody can. Only Fifty.'
'Well, who is he?'
'....'
109bibberly
A teacher's aide came in looking for a specific book for a student who was at a low reading level. I helped her find it and told her that we had it in both hardcover and paperback, so it was up to her which she wanted. She asked me which version was a higher reading level.
110missylc
I think maybe the first question may have been related to how some bookstores arrange their sections. I worked at a bookstore outside of D.C. where we had an African-American section that included books (both fiction and nonfiction) by, for and about African-Americans. It made it easier for the salespeople to do this because we had such high demand for these items. This may lead to the expectation that libraries would do the same.
111FFortuna
112lilithcat
My branch library has both the sticker, and a separate section in the "New books" area, for African-American interest.
The branch library in a part of town with a large gay population has a separate section for glbt books.
113sadiegrrrl
at my library we have a section just of african american authors because it is part of a special collection that was donated to the library many years ago. we frequently add new books to the section as well.
114skf
Thanks for being so helpful and long suffering.
And thanks for sharing in this thread. I've enjoyed a laugh.
By the way, do you have the book, "The Mixed Up Files of ..." somebody about two kids who run away and live in a museum in NYC? I think it's red and white.
(Just kidding! I bought my own copy a couple of years ago.)
115librarianlk
Also, a (different) teenage girl asked me for books about the Holocaust, because, as she explained, "I love, love, LOVE the Holocaust!"
116lilithcat
Actually, I often use the closed captioning or subtitle button on my DVD player when watching British movies in which there are heavy regional dialects.
117Unreachableshelf
Yes, we have stickers/sections for African American authors/interests in our libraries, since there are so many requests for them. Whether it's a special section or a sticker depends on the branch. If it's a book that it's worth having more than one copy of, we usually have a copy in the AA collection and wherever it would be filed otherwise. (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings? All over our library. We've got copies in the AA collection, the classics collection, and probably some in the regular biographies, too.)
>114 skf:
Well, I've probably got it around my house somewhere, but I don't think that will help you. And that would be an easy question even if I didn't know the book: you know the beginning of the title.
118bibberly
I had a student ask me the name of "the book about the two brothers, and they take a trip, and one is special." Once I figured out that she meant "special" as a euphemism for mentally disabled, I was able to pin down Of Mice and Men.
Oh, and as I was typing this, a student asked me if we get our books from Wal-Mart. He had seen a a good book there and wondered if we could go pick it up.
119jkcohen
120Furu
I usually use subtitles for movies with non US/Canadian English speakers too. Just makes it a little easier to understand, even though I've had a lot of friends from pretty much every English speaking country so you'd think I'd be used to it by now.
In fact it reminds me of the little funny thing before a lot of the shows on BBC America, that say something like 'The British accent is ridiculous! So if you want to understand anything, use your closed captioning' and then proceeds to tell you how to turn CC on.
As for the Holocaust thing, I kind of know what the girl means. I have this unexplainable fascination with reading about the Chinese Cultural Revolution, even though it gives me nightmares. I'd never make the mistake of saying something like 'I LOVE the Cultural Revolution!' though. I just hope she meant that she can't help wanting to read all she can about it. ;)
121jjwilson61
122librarianlk
123Nickelini
Here's a conversation I overheard at a bookstore:
An older woman with messy grey hair, sounding agitated asked "Where are your books on witchcraft?"
The bookstore employee showed her the occult section, and she seemed overwhelmed by the vast selection, and said "I need a book that can teach me to cast spells."
I can just imagine her as some kooky woman who was driving her neighbours crazy, and someone probably called her a witch. I wonder how it all turned out
124FFortuna
125ezwicky
126Absurda
Peter Pan. There's a part where Peter says, "you can't catch me and make me grow up" or something like that.
I also turned up a picture book by Michael Rosen called "You Can't Catch Me!" There's supposed to be a poem in there called You Can't Catch Me, Grumblebelly. I've never read it, though so I can't say for sure.
127infiniteletters
128kaelirenee
Here are a couple of things I found...I hope one of these are what she was looking for!
You can't catch me is a line in Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (about the Alphabet, it was featured on a Blue's Clues episode)
http://www.amazon.com/Cant-Catch-Harper-Growing-Tree/dp/0694010383
http://www.amazon.com/You-Cant-Catch-Annabel-Collis/dp/0316152374/ref=sr_1_2/104...
Too bad she knows it's a real person, because my first thought when I read that was Stinky Cheese Man.
Dang it, now I want to know the book she was looking for!
129marfita
What happened to Dr. Seuss? The short stories?
That was the book, and our branch's copies were out, the bookmobile had a copy (but it's locked up), and the remaining copy was in transit. "Oh, yeah - that's the one my mom is having sent over. They said it would be here Monday, but she needs it Tuesday and wanted to be sure she got it."
Soooo, you have a copy on hold, but you want to bother me about it for ten minutes?
130LeesyLou
I think we can all work out the obvious guerilla attack.
131lolvstein First Message
132PatVasilik
"Where is your 100 page book section?" from a middle school student.
"Where are your ig books?" from a parent. (She wanted books that contained words that had the letters "ig" in them -- wig, pig, etc.)
And finally, "Where are your books on stars?" In showing the student (about 6th grade) where the astronomy books were, she was quite exasperated. No, REAL STARS! Translation: celebrities.
You have to love working with the public!
133amysisson
I was a cataloger for a curriculum library for a college's education department, so education students had to come in and find books for different purposes, especially to teach reading. So they wanted books on the letter "T" for instance. As far as I know, there aren't subject headings to cover that, so we tried to create some of our own where possible -- which a cataloger always feels ambivalent about, but there was no other way for the students to find those books!
I LOVED that job. I'm not good with kids, but I love children's books and I love cataloging. Wish I could have stayed in that job, but we needed to move out of state for my husband's work. I like my current job a lot, but I miss cataloging.
134ulan25
*passes cookies around* (for eating outside the library, of course. this is a library! no cookies, just books!)
*applauds everyone*
More stories please =)
136weener
As an added bonus, our phone number is frequently confused with the police department's non-emergency line so we get a lot of calls for them. I got a woman once who was furious to see "Mexicans" drinking beers outdoors and wanted to know what we were going to do about it!
137mcconchc First Message
Well, what can I say?!
138skf
Washing Elephants
The Lion With the Wardrobe
Less Miserables
The Hiding Place by Carrington Boone
Okay, I give up. I got them all except "Washing Elephants". Please enlighten me.
Thanks.
139weener
140sadiegrrrl
i had a teen ask for "how teela killed a mocking bird" by "lee somebody"...icing on the cake...she had her syllabus IN HER HAND!
141differentbeat
142reptiliancandy
143jenfarquhar First Message
144kcasada
145melawen
In my previous library we had a few copies of a book that was subtitled "A Reader" and we used to get to so many requests for that book by the author A. Reader.
Like many of you I am sure, we get people who just hang on to books forever!! We had someone in the library just the other week who was so very insistent that we had a particular book and why wasn't it on the shelf? We did have the book - it had been issued to her about six months ago!!
146emmelisa
First,the lady who came in wanting "books by Ella Moore". A catalog search turned up nothing at all, and the patron was righteously indignant: "You mean this library doesn't have any books by Louise Ella Moore, the famous Western writer?" Ah. Yes, we do have the books by Louis L'Amour.
And then there is my favorite recurring question, one I seem to get asked at the beginning of every year's summer library program: "When do you have your swimming lessons?" What there is in some people's minds to connect libraries with swimming pools is beyond me!
147DancingLibrarian First Message
148kaelirenee
149tinylittlelibrarian
150bibberly
151emmelisa
I honestly think, though, that many people are used to having their children watched all day in school for "free" (forgetting that they pay taxes for the service). So, the library is an educational institution, right? And educational institutions are supposed to watch kids for free, right? Sigh.
152cookebooks First Message
My K-8 students are often told there is no 'scary' section, we're a library, not a bookstore!
Two of my public library requests:
Brilliant high school girl returning 'Les Miserables' asks "How does it end?". Turns out that in 40 years of ownership, not ONE person had read to the last 40 MISSING pages! We got her another copy!
We also served as an informal chamber of commerce for our touristy town. One day a harried and flustered volunteer fielded a quest for a local motel, "Where is Manzanita Cabins?" "Oh, dear," Peggy answered, "who wrote it?"
153kaelirenee
I was getting lunch today on my way to work. The cashier asked what I did that had me going to work on a Sunday, so I told him-I'm a librarian. He got a look on his face and said "Oh, can you suggest a book for me to read then?" I asked him what he was interested in. He said "A little bit of everything." So I told him to read a little bit of everything.
In the end, I recommended A history of the world in 6 glasses.
154StaceyLyn First Message
Patron: "Where are your history books?"
Me: "What kind of history?"
Patron: dead serious, "Books about stuff that has already happened..."
*sigh*...I guess maybe I could have been more specific in my questioning...
155differentbeat
So I found her a book on braiding black hair. "But this isn't about care of the hair. I need to know how to care for it."
I found her a book on black hair care. "This is too detailed. I just need to know like...how to brush it. She's not even my daughter, so I don't need to know all that detailed crap."
Finally, we ordered a book that had everything from how to wash and brush it to how to straighten it and put in extentions, and I had to talk the patron into ordering that, explaining that it was better to have too much information than not enough. Sheesh. Sometimes finding out what a patron wants is like pulling teeth.
156Jakeofalltrades
I ended up with a lot of books about a longish blond haired dude with a guitar (I was 13 at the time, and grew up in a relative innocence where I had not encountered rock music to the degree I do now) and I said "Who's this guy? He's not round and Asian like he's supposed to be"
At that point the pierced male librarian decided that he had gotten me the wrong book, and went back and handed me some book about World Religions that was helpful.
I asked him why he had given me the other book, and he smiled and said "You'll find that out when you're taller, and older, and when you find out that your parents haven't been giving you the "right" education"
Only when I was about 15 did I know what he meant.
157xxkarenlxx
158chriscarroll
Times like that make me think of Ferris Bueller's Day off when they go to the French restaurant and the maitre d' says, "I weep for the future."
160foggidawn
Fortunately, it only took my brain a second to make the connection: "Could you mean Water for Elephants?"
161FionaCat
162mzonderm
163jjwilson61
164MHSLibrary
And I had another variation on To kill a mockingbird the other day: Kill the Mockingbird.
165Lavinient
166differentbeat
After much confusion, it turns out she wanted books with free forms so she could write her own will. -.- Oops.
167differentbeat
168kmoellering
k
169differentbeat
This also reminded me of a patron I had once who asked if we had a book with a list of all the websites in it.
170QueenOfDenmark
She said that since you were in the UK perhaps he was looking for the words to the Yorkshire song/poem "On Ilkly Moor Bah Tat" and got the whole thing completely muddled up.
I love this thread and although I don't work in a library you have reminded me of the time our reading group (which met in the public library) did Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. The local paper used to print the date and time and what book we would read and it appeared as "Nighttime with the Good, the Bad and the Ugly."
171kaelirenee
Yeah, that makes a difference.
172MarianV
As they thanked me it occurred to me that in all our years of marriage, my husband & I had argued about just about anything you can imagine, but NEVER had we ever had an argument about the Empress Theodosia.
A later note, I became curious about the Byzantine lady & a co-worker & I looked her up & found that she had been against the doctrine of reincarnation in the early Christian Church. Actually, there is some disagreement about this, so perhaps the couple's argument was not so unusual.
173riaanw
This lady had clearly been in a terrible car accident or such, as she had scars down one side of her face and could not hear very well -- and she only had one eye.
So, after checking in her books, my colleague saw there was one book still outstanding. "What is it called?" asked the patron.
The book was in Afrikaans, a novel titled Die Nag Het Net Een Oog -- meaning The Night Only Has One Eye.
Without breaking her stride, my colleague said we can't see the titles of outstanding books on the computer!
174scithighs
175Nycticebus
176chriscarroll
I wanted to ask her if that was the one where King Arthur was jailed for killing the two little girls and Morgan le Fay stepped on his pet mouse.
177ShannonMDE
178stupidquestion
A guy went looking for a picture he remembered from his youth in the local paper. Unfortunately, the local paper didn't save their originals and were only able to provide the black and white copy that was published in the paper. He then came to the library and asked my colleague if we had a color copier so that he could get it with the 'color back in it'.
179QueenOfDenmark
Also someone shredded a document they then wanted back and thought that the fax machine somehow would be able to produce this. They were very surpised that it couldn't, "not even if we post all the shreds in the top?"
180weener
As if any ol' schlub couldn't get an e-mail address for free in two minutes...
181Liberryladie
"No. I'm positive it's Frank the Sheep Cow."
"Do you mind if I take you to the section and show you what I'm talking about?" I asked.
(He follows me, sighing loudly the entire time.) I point to the Hank books. It absolutely killed him to admit I was right.
182amysisson
I also like your LT handle. It kills me when people call me a liberrian, but I like the way you embrace it! ;-)
183SusanJames
184sheilahatler
185mfred333
186differentbeat
187Steven_VI
Phone rings, she answers it - "Hi, um, I bought a book at your store about an hour ago" and he mentions the title. She's like "ok, I remember, is something wrong with the book?"
"No, the book is alright, but... um... would you like to go out with me?"
Nice try, but no luck :)
188QueenOfDenmark
189SusanJames
190ctlynn
191skf
When I was in 1st grade I wanted to renew a library book. (Remember this was the dark ages when everything was done with 3x5 cards.) I forgot the book at home and asked my librarian if I could renew it anyway. When she found out I couldn't remember the author's name, she sort of scolded me about the things being kept under the author's last name, not the students. I can still picture where I was, a little blond with dimples too shy to say that I thought it would be under the book title.
192missdeeds
Our children's department kept a list of misquoted titles. My favorite was "The Red Bag of Courage".
One of our reference staff fielded a request for "books about dogs", which upon questioning turned into "how to breed dogs", which with further questioning transmuted into "books about them bitchin' fries dogs - I just think they're so cute." After the staffer mentally translated to "bichon frise", she duly led the woman to the titles she wanted, and then ran into the stairway to laugh. She couldn't go back to the desk for about 10 minutes. I've never known how she managed to keep a straight face through it all.
193acpl
File that one under C-R-A-Z-Y.
194brainstorm
195brainstorm
196brainstorm
197brainstorm
198brainstorm
199fleurdiabolique
http://shelfcheck.blogspot.com/2008/03/whew.html
200HouseholdOpera
201librarychs
202kaelirenee
203FionaCat
204timepiece
Just tell them with a perky smile that "*all* the books we have are good to read!" Maybe they'll realize they need to narrow it down on their own.
If they don't, just hand them the nearest book.
205amysisson
206QueenOfDenmark
207kaelirenee
208chilover
209Josh_Hanagarne
I've been smiling ever since.
210megkrahl
211crystaldickerson
212differentbeat
213differentbeat
It IS really frustrating to have a kid like that come in, but I agree with amysisson that it can be missing a great opportunity not to try your best to help pair them with something they'll like. If I strike out when I ask them what kind of books they like, even more than handing them the closest book or handing them something that's generally popular among their age group, I'll ask them what they're interested in and go from there. Usually you can narrow it down to a genre that way (humor, mystery, horror, coming of age type things), then give books that are popular within that genre.
A kid might have a blank expression when you ask them what kind of books they read, but usually they'll at least have INTERESTS to work with. Though, admittedly, I've struck out with that question too sometimes. :/
214TomeAddict
1. A man wanted to find a certain western film. No, he didn't know the title, the director, the actors, the studio, or the year. He couldn't even come up with a description of the star or a plot description. I tried several films, but none rang a bell with him. He did offer the fact that it was in B&W. Unfortunately the majority of westerns made were in B&W. He then stated it had a desert scene. Unfortunately, a majority of westerns have some sort of desert scene. With a triumphant voice he stated that he remembered that there was a scene when the cowboy raced on his horse from right to left across the screen...in the desert. Unfortunately....so do thousands of western films. He ended the call by round cursing me--with the "f" word featured prominently--before hanging up on me.
2. What year was "Porky and Bess" released? I couldn't resist! I replied "It was rele- rele- released in 1959!"
215Nycticebus
>194 brainstorm: Thanks, brainstorm! That's the citation I remember now. I suppose the original source is now lost in urban legend land.
Not really a reference request: Recently I was visiting a friend's house in Japan, and the 10-year-old daughter proudly brought out the library copy of Momo (translated into Japanese) that she is currently reading. I said how much I'd loved that book too. The mother said in surprise, oh, it's in English too? Yes, I explained, many books do get translated into English. Then I had to explain that the name Momo has nothing to do with peaches in the original German (momo means peach in Japanese).
216weener
Serendipitiously, she got the one person in the building that knows all the dog breeds off the top of her head (that's me!) and I was able to answer "That's the Komondor!" without a second thought.
I hope I didn't give her the idea that the library will always know the answer to every question immediately and with only a vague description.
217kaelirenee
218lynnlib
219QueenOfDenmark
220marvas
221lynnlib
222QueenOfDenmark
223mstores
Here's the first question:
Patron: Do you you know how to get red paint out of a carpet? Our Landlord's coming round in an hour!
227kqueue
228kaelirenee
229weener
All I could say was "Take her to the doctor, take her to the doctor!"
230TomeAddict
She drew back in horror and said "Oh, no, I wouldn't let them read about Tchaikovsky--he was a flaming homosexual!" I tried to explain the bios for kids very seldom even mention sexual matters of any kind, but she was adamant.
Then her son came trotting up and proudly announced that he'd just finished reading a biography of Alexander the Great!
I remember thinking "should I say something? No, better not...." But it was hard to keep a straight face.
231ampl
232Nycticebus
On being assured that the corresponding person was indeed a human librarian, the patron wrote "you type cute."
well, that's a new form of come-on!
234kicking_k
As an archivist, I'm smiling about the lady who wanted to borrow letters by interlibrary loan on the grounds that they weren't unique... Mind you, I have worked at business archives from which you can borrow stuff - if you work for the company and can demonstrate a need for it. It makes me a little uncomfortable, though.
There was also the man who came into the National Archives of Scotland when I worked there and wanted to see his family tree.
I gave him the usual information about how to get started on the research, but he found this very disappointing. He "kind of thought you would have, like, a chart I could look at."
235kqueue
237kaelirenee
238timepiece
Scene: The Strand Bookstore’s information desk (downtown annex)
Querying customer to gray-bearded clerk: “Do you have ‘Lust for Life?’ ”
Clerk: “I used to. But now I’m mostly tired and run down. But to answer your question, we do not have the book ‘Lust for Life.’ ”
Customer (laughing): “Do you sit there all day waiting for customers to feed you titles for great one-liners?”
Clerk: “Yes, basically.”
239librorumamans
"We were watching some classic the other night, but I can't remember the title. It's a novel, and there's a woman in it named Mrs. D or something."
Oh, easy lob, I thought to myself, and offered, "Rebecca?"
"Nooooo," a drawn out, doubtful monosyllable that dropped half an octave in the middle before returning, finally, to the tonic. Then, helpfully, "There's a boy in it."
Not Mrs. Danvers, then. And a boy? Ah, not a boy but Boy, and perhaps Mrs. Dempster.
"Fifth Business?" I was grasping here. I know it hasn't been filmed, but perhaps he'd actually seen an interview or a documentary. With Andy, you could never be certain.
That one went out of the court. Advantage to Andy. He served again.
"There's a criminal in it. Like ... like ... Finnigan?"
Okay, forget about Mrs. D. There's a kid and a crook, initial F. Ummmm, how about ...
"Oliver Twist," I volleyed. This after some deep thought.
"No." Clearly he'd encountered that in one of its various manifestations. He returned with, "She doesn't marry. The woman, I mean."
I have no idea from what recesses of my mind I found the inspiration to answer with one last smashing backhand.
"Great Expectations," I said.
"YES!" he cried, and went happily away.
Game, set, and match.
240Nycticebus
241GenreTalker
242GenreTalker
The shelver was trying to find a book for a patron and asked her supervisor how to find.
Supervisor: " What's the call number?"
Shelver: "I know what it's called, just tell me where it is!"
243TomeAddict
Well, I got a doozy today: A patron asked me if we had secure computers it would be "safe" for her to use. As she was using one of our computers that has no Internet access and is used by patrons who just want to type documents or create spreadsheets, I told her that the computer she was on is secure and connected only to the printers. "No, it's not," she said. "Everytime I come here something inside takes control of the computer I'm on and either won't let me type, or causes Word to act strangely! I want a computer no one can take control of--don't you have one like that?!?"
244QueenOfDenmark
245Booksloth
Secondly, I'm not a librarian, but I am a bit of a bookshop pest. When I'm browsing for books I just can't resist listening in to other people's conversations and pointing out the books they want but can't find. And I don't think I've ever seen anyone browsing a copy of Captain Corelli, The Crimson Petal, Middlemarch, The Deptford Trilogy or any of my many other favourites without sneaking up and muttering 'Great book; you'll love it'. Sometimes they beam, say thanks and go buy it - other times they shove it hurriedly back on the shelf and leave the shop.
246Nickelini
-----------------
You too? My computer has that virus too!
247ReneeMarie
I've had people ask me where our photocopiers are. Often. By people who swear every bookstore has at least one for public use.
I had one gentleman ask me for help finding a book. He was in the store a week earlier and HID it somewhere, but he couldn't remember where. Tough luck, mister.
I had another gentleman ask me for an ORIGINAL copy of Martin Luther's pamphlet "Against the Jews" rather than a 20th century reprint. After asking also for a book on occultism in Nazi Germany, he was headed for his local library, where he knew he could get Luther's pamphlet. (Sorry, guys.)
Another customer who came in said "I was told all I had to do was ask for the pink book," which was fairly easily identified as _Simple Abundance_ by Sarah ban Breathnach.
I was asked for "The Oberlin Sisters. It's about two women who date royalty." That was eventually identified (it had just been published) as _The Other Boleyn Girl_.
And I was asked for "that new book by the woman who wrote _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ five years ago." Turns out she was looking for _The Wonder Spot_ by Melissa Banks, who wrote _The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing_.
Everywhere I've worked, I've been tasked with training new people. At the bookstore, I tell new employees that if they don't like playing Trivial Pursuit, this is not the job for them.
248circeus
249pollyanna36
250mhasel
Let me start by saying that all of my patrons are orthodontists.
I was telling one doctor that I would send him what he wanted but if it didn't arrive by x date to talk to my supervisor because I'd be on maternity leave.
Without missing a beat he asked me if I was going to breastfeed. He then went into a long talk about all of the research he'd done on breastfeeding and how the mouth develops.
While he talked I wondered if this counted as harassment. I wasn't uncomfortable though. By that time I'd had many many conversations about my breasts even though I was adopting.
251Carnophile
252awriterspen
253NJO
A kestrel for Kanave quite a few times.
Also some students wanted to photocopy a bus ticket so they could get on the bus for free basically. We only have a black and white copier so I told them to go to the reprographics department thinking they would tell them to get lost but they actually did it for them.
254Carnophile
255Nycticebus
257Nycticebus
258quettandil
We often get people who ask if we're a library, which isn't too bad of a question, although it seems pretty obvious to me that we're not. Even better are the people who ask if we rent books -- I always politely tell them no, but I'd like to ask them why in the world they would rent books, when they can just get them for free from a library?
Although I can't remember at the moment any stories of miraculously finding books after vague descriptions, I'm sure they've happened. Next time it comes up I'll post it. Some other funny stories, though... after a long and extremely odd phone conversation with a customer about the book he wanted to special order, I asked for his phone number, so we could call him when the book came in. He said, "Someone threw it away." I said, "Your phone number?" and he said, "Yes." I sort of stammered that he could call us periodically to see whether or not it'd come yet. He never did as far as I know, and it turned out that the book he wanted didn't seem to exist (I was still new at the store, so someone else was going to make the order, I just took down the information). Another time a lady wanted books about Tom Selleck and someone else famous, I forget who. Not so bad. Her rationale? They were both ex-husbands. I think she said Tom Selleck divorced her after a week because she liked eating too much. She also informed me that she was the model used for the princess' face in Shrek.
259jjwilson61
260BlondeBibliophile
*Patron comes in
Me: Hi, can I help you? *smiling*
P: Ummm, yeah, I'm looking for a book, but I don't know what it's called.
Me: Ok, do you know the author's name? *smiling*
P: Uhhhhh, no. I don't really remember what it was about either. It was a long time ago. I think it was about this big *holds hands up to show me the size* and I'm pretty sure it was green, but it might have been blue.
Me: *stares blankly at patron*
P: *stares blankly back and wonders why I am not helping them*
Me: I'm sorry sir (or ma'am) but I will need more information in order to find what you're looking for.
P: Oh, well, alright. I thought you would be able to help me. *irritated*
Me: *stares stupidly at patron and wonders how I became the difficult one*
Me: *smiles* I'm sorry I wasn't able to help. After you find out more information come back in and I will locate it for you.
P: Yeah, ok.
Me:*still amazed as customer is walking away*
I handle it a little better now, but it never ceases to amaze me.
261differentbeat
258> Thanks for the laughs. There are some good ones in here. It's odd you mention people who ask if you rent books because at my library, I occasionally get patrons who seem completely bewildered when I inform them they can't BUY any books from us. I'm not sure if they think we're like a used book store or a new book store that sells really beat-up and labelled copies of books...
262quettandil
263quettandil
You're welcome. Yeah, who knows what some people are thinking. :shakes head: Lend, rent, sell; shouldn't every institution with books do all of those?
Ooh, and we also get people in here upset that we don't have the newest releases used. "Oh, I wanted it cheaper..." Okay, but you're going to have to wait a little longer than a week. Then there was a guy who asked how long it takes before our new books aren't new anymore (our store credit is only good towards our used books, not our new ones). I'm pretty sure he thought we meant "new" vs. "old," not "new" vs. "used," but after I explained that he still seemed a tad confused. Gave me a mental picture of us going around the store every month or so changing the prices and labels on everything a bit shopworn, or whenever we see a customer peruse something, then put it down.
And just in today... a patron asked for horticulture. I showed him our gardening section. He still seemed expectant, asked if this was all the horticulture. I said yes, and thought to myself, "I *think* I know what "horticulture" means..." I pointed out a couple books with "horticulture" in the title. After a little while he admitted he was looking for a specific book on cannabis. I said, "OH" and walked to the proper section. Since we're a bookstore, not a library, we do carry those kinds of books, but you aren't going to find them by asking for horticulture!
264ReneeMarie
Subscription or rental libraries have historical precedent, too, of course.
Renee
265differentbeat
Wow, really, you allow patrons to buy their way up on the waiting list? I don't know how I feel about that. I imagine it's a pretty great revenue builder for the library, though.
266jlane
Not quite :) The waiting list is one way to get a title. Rental copies are another. They can't be reserved. They're usually first come, first served, with the understanding that when they are returned, a fee will be charged for each day that the book was on loan. It's an option for people who don't want to wait on a list for a frequently requested title. The fee is so small (about $.25/day) that the revenue is insignificant. And anyway library fees go into the City's general fund. That doesn't result in increased funding.
267bell7
Also, when World Without End first came out, I fielded requests for "The Ends of the Earth," and other variations.
268Morphidae
269differentbeat
Our library has a similar system for new, high-demand books, only it's not monetarily-based. We have a section of Express Reading books, which are two-week checkouts and cannot have reserves placed on them. So they're first come first serve - that way the new books actually get some shelf time instead of just constantly being passed from one hold to the next.
270grbarr1
271amysisson
I have mixed feelings about the rental idea as well. As small as the fee is, some people don't have that 25 cents/day. And it sends the message that money can be thrown at ANYTHING, even a free public service, so that people with money get it better and faster. Sort of like when amusement parks starting selling "special" passes for an extra $10 that let you jump the line for rides. Imagine the family that saved up all year for a family outing to the amusement park. They get to go on less rides because they have to wait in the cheapo lines, while people for whom that $10 x 4 is nothing get to go ahead.
I'm also wondering, if the generated fees don't go to the library, there really seems to be little point.
I like 269's library's system better.
272differentbeat
273VivienneR
274Nickelini
275differentbeat
276lilithcat
And just in today... a patron asked for horticulture. I showed him our gardening section.
Since everyone else is exercising admirable restraint, I guess it's up to me to ask - were you able to make him drink?
277lilithcat
I used to live in a suburb with one, not-so-big library, of which I was a frequent user. One day, having received a notice that a book on which I had placed a reserve was ready to be picked up, I went in, approached the circulation desk, and said to the librarian, "I believe you have a book on hold for me." She smiled and said, "We always have a book on hold for you!" It was true, too.
278megkrahl
*ILL-inter-library loan
279madlibn
Good Luck wherever you are.
280shmjay
I don't know what I'd do without ILL: fortunately I work in an academic library and it's not likely to go away.
281marvas
The Afghan!
by Frederick Forsyth
282emmelisa
I had to point out that, essentially, this meant all liquids (except neutronium, of course, if it even exists in a liquid form). Perhaps they meant non-Newtonian liquids?
Ten minutes and two cellphone calls later, they confirmed that my guess was right. There wasn't a lot available at the fourth-grade level, but I gave them what there was!284Papiervisje
Blonde Sales assistant pauzes, looks behind her and grabs a big book on Chinese cuisine. "Here, it is also big and has a chinese girl on the cover".
Supposedly, Bol.com (like Amazon) stores information what other users also bought when buying that copy of the travel book.
I am a collector of silent comic books (comic books without text). When visiting a new comic book store, I usually get a blank look when I express my desire to buy such books.
285durian
I was working at a university library where we got a monthly phone call from a woman (the same woman) asking who the richest person in the world was, and about a particular Saudi prince's inheritance, and another question about mega-inheritances. The same person, every month. I found some books about the topic of interest and had the good fortune to talk to her three months in a row to suggest she come in and look at those particular books, but none of us ever saw her. She just kept calling, asking the same question, every month. At the same university library, this rather old man came in asking for books with suggestions for romance and finding women. Not really having any there, I referred him to the public library, which made him indignant (he felt that they'd been rude to him).
In my experience, seventh graders have the hardest reference questions. I had a young patron (middle school aged) who was given an assignment on some obscure explorer and was supposed to find an image of him. Besides finding very limited information on him, I could find absolutely no paintings or any depiction except a stamp issued by the USSR years ago. She was also told she had to find a copy (image) of the poster he put out to get labor for his ships!
286quettandil
Still doesn't make sense to me. Firstly, the bookstore I work at is very obviously a bookstore. Secondly, I'd never heard of the renting to "jump the queue" concept, and given the people who ask me if we rent, I doubt they have either. As for subscription or rental libraries, I doubt they normally exist side-by-side with the lending libraries. I live in the LA area, so there are a host of free libraries to choose from. Maybe if there were some advantage, like shipping the books to you... but shipping books is more expensive than shipping DVDs... Thirdly, when a library sells books, it's normally on a special day with a library sale, or else they'd be put on a very clearly marked rack or cart. And, of course, if you're a bookstore... well, are there any bookstores that *lend* books? I don't know of any. No, I'm still confused.
287quettandil
Eh? He didn't buy a gardening book, if that's what you're asking. We didn't have the book on cannabis he wanted, so he special ordered it. He prepaid, and didn't leave a phone number or his real name.
288quettandil
I worked for a few years as a student clerk in a university library's ILL department, but didn't have a lot of contact with patrons that way. More funny stories working in a bookstore.
289mcolville2
292LyzzyBee
A (hopefully new, undergraduate) student stopped me and asked "where's the economics book". He was English, English appeared to be his first language... I was tempted to say "oh, it has the third floor to itself" but managed to give the proper response.. and encourage him to sign up for a library tour!
293kaelirenee
294LyzzyBee
295Coruca
How do I get out of the this building?
If you have ever been there, you will understand.
297Morphidae
298kaelirenee
299magooles
By the way, she had a very hard time finding her way through the building as well.
300differentbeat
301differentbeat
A man staying at the local mission came in and asked me to help him find a woman. First of all, I had to ask him to repeat himself because I was sure I'd heard wrong, but nope, he wanted a woman! I was a bit taken aback because I don't think finding a hooker for a patron is in my job description...
As I fumbled for words, he went on to explain that he already has a girlfriend that he loves very much, but he's in a bad place right now, and he was really hoping to find another woman he could "be with" and who he "could work with." (His words.) I was still staring stupidly at him as he went on to explain that he didn't mind if she was rich or wealthy, that he wasn't the sort of guy who would discriminate against a woman just because she had a fat wallet...
What a stand-up guy! Overlooking something so problematic as extreme wealth. I ended up giving him a phone number for a local dating service; I didn't tell him that it might be a little more complicated trying to find a rich woman to take in he and his other girlfriend!
302Carnophile
303ShannonMDE
305weener
Kids these days...
306FFortuna
307ibnsina
Go right ahead,sir!
308quettandil
309megkrahl
310Goldengrove
I'm working in a university library, as we speak, and a student just set off the alarm. When challenged he brandished the book and said "It's a textbook, I thought I could take it"
Priceless!
311FFortuna
Not quite a request, but another coworker of mine was talking to a regular patron about a book a few days ago -- I happened to be standing between them and was half-listening -- and my coworker asked "Is this the sequel?" To which the patron promptly replied "No, it's the one that comes after..."
312Nickelini
----------------
Okay, I'm not a librarian, but I've always wanted to play one on TV, so excuse my butting in here, but reading this, I have to share these:
1. I'm in a discussion group in my Romantic Era English Lit course--it's a third year course, so to get into it, one must have completed a minimum of two earlier rounds of English lit courses (minimum four courses) and 45 points of university credits (3-4 points per course). And the entire English Lit department is structured by time period. It's difficult to get to this level by accident. But yet, this must have all passed by this young woman unnoticed--we were discussing Jane Austen's Mansfield Park and she turned to me and asked if Jane Austen was still alive. It was all I could do to not fall off my chair.
2. I was stunned by this, and told my sister-in-law, who told me about what a student said to her when she took her educational assistant course. In British Columbia, an educational assistant is present in the classroom to take care of special needs children (e.g.: autism, cerebral palsy). During her training, another trainee turned to her and asked what Down Syndrome is. How one goes into this training without a rudimentary knowledge of the types of children she'll be helping is beyond me. It trumps my Jane Austen-less English lit student.
313differentbeat
We host a lecture series at our central branch, where I work, and one month, our topic was Walt Whitman. We had a speaker coming in to discuss Whitman's war poems. A woman called to reserve tickets, and after we went through all the details, she said, "I'm just so excited about this! I love Walt Whitman. I have an antique copy of Leaves of Grass, and I'm going to bring it so he can sign it!"
I was so astonished that I just sort of went, "Um........ well.... uh, we'll see you then!" and hung up with big saucer eyes. I hope she wasn't TOO disappointed.
314robertainez
After discussing WWII and the Holocaust with the kids in relation to the music, she told the students that the librarian had been at Anne Frank's house in Amsterdam. Lots of the students would look at Anne's diary.
The next day a student asked me if I had really been to Anne Frank's house. I told her I had, and she asked, "Was it scary?" We talked about it a bit more.
Then she asked, "You ever been to the Amityville Horror house?"
I did NOT laugh in her face, but still get hysterical when I recall her asking me about it.
315kaelirenee
So, I got her straightened out on that one. I was looking for something other than standard lit crits and one of the things I looked up was commentary on early feminist writers. The student looked at the title and said "Uh-uh. I shave my legs. I don't want anything about feminists." Yikes. I spent about 2 hours with her, helping her find things, and slipping in historical context of the writing so she understood the difference between pre-Suffrage feminism and, oh, I don't know-Gloria Steinem. Then she found an article about male feminists and she just about dropped out of her chair. "You mean there are male feminists!"
No wonder my grandmother scoffs at us terrible awful third and fourth wave feminists...
316mordantkitten
Me (on the phone): Hello, reference. May I help you?
Patron: Is this is the reference department?
That one I was patient with, and this is why:
When calls were transferred to us from elsewhere, we'd pick up the phone when it rang and the line would only connect about a second after you picked it up. So the first couple of words you said would probably not be heard until you got down the trick of pausing. One coworker I had refused to understand this despite explanation, and, worse, she consistently answered the phone with "Library." Not may I help you, or her name, or anything you're supposed to tack on as courtesy (courtesy was not her long suit). It would be said before the connection was even made. So the person on the other end would hear the click of connection and then silence. Then she'd get all annoyed that the first thing everyone said to her on the phone was either "Hello? Hello?" or "Is this the library?"
This happens with many businesses, and I always hate to be the dork who asks "Is this Hank's Hardware?" when I know it's very likely they've just said so, but what can you do?
318kmaziarz
One of my favorite recent requests was from a girl in her mid teens who asked me for, and I quote, "That book…about those people…who do stuff, you know, that other people can’t do…."
After blinking at her blankly for a moment, I launched into the typical round of questions...and finally figured out that she wanted the Guinness Book of World Records!
319selenacanada
320kaffles
I had a nice one the other day though - chap wanted a copy of a report he'd been told was done by an academic at my Uni. My friend Google and I eventually worked out that it was done at another university, named something else, unpublished, held nowhere in the country, and the academic didn't work there anymore (it was a really slow shift!) but I gave him the most probable contact. The nice part was that he came back recently and left a message that they'd found him a copy which he's finding vital to his research, and could they tell the "young looking" librarian that he was really grateful. Doesn't get better, surely!?
321Froggmaiden
"Where do you guys keep your Camus" (but rhymes it with famous)
Similar to other posts, but I've also gotten requests for "that book... it's blue... it's about this big... it has writing on the cover."
323mzonderm
also got "Memoirs of a Boy-Toy Soldier". this while she was actually pointing to her reading list where it said quite clearly A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier
I love summer reading!
324Brentwood
325HoldenCarver
First, a bloke walks over from using the public access computer catalogue and says:
"I looked up a book in the computer and it says you have a copy here, and next to it it says 'On loan.' Does that mean it's not on the shelf?"
Secondly, I had the following discussion with a patron:
Patron: I'm looking for books on Anne Frank.
Me: *checks computer* Well, I don't think we have her diary, but we may have some other books about her in this section over here.
Patron: Ah, right. My daughter really wants to diary, though. Where would that be if you had it?
Me: *slightly distracted, scrolling through catalogue entries* Hmm?
Patron: Who wrote Anne Frank's diary?
Me: Er, I believe that would be Anne Frank.
Luckily for me, she realised what she'd said at that point and cracked up laughing.
326AaronWTimm
327gaialover
When I worked at an academic library, I had a woman walk up to the circulation desk and calmly ask me for "a room where I can pump my breast milk." I gaped for a moment then suggested our very nice bathrooms which had a separate nook with a couch in it. She informed me that that wasn't sanitary and proceeded to get upset at the whole university for being unsupportive of mothers.
When I worked at a public library, I had a little girl come up to me and ask me for a book about fairies "but one about real fairies. How they really live. Not one that pretends like they don't exist." I tried to lead her to the fiction section, but she got upset and said "No, a fact book" (meaning non-fiction) "I want to know how fairies really live! Not how people think they live!" Oh my was I puzzled as to how to make this little girl happy. I wasn't about to break it to her that most people don't believe in fairies.. I finally got her a book of drawings of fairies and that seemed to appease her.
328Audacity
What was the assignment? 3 pages on Our Town, any topic. I was flabbergasted. I took him upstairs to the section with critical analysis of the play, and then to a few different journals with articles. He seemed appeased, but then 10 minutes later, he found me in the sorting room and offered $300.
That was the hardest "no" of my life.
329Steven_VI
331QueenOfDenmark
332archipelago6
Funny Bones for The Lovely Bones.
and
A Thousand Golden Tongues for A Thousand Splendid Suns.
333weener
Ha ha. Cannery Row by John Steinbeck.
334SandySchmitz
An undergraduate came to the reference desk for help. This particular student, while far from brilliant, was so unfailingly polite and had such a charming drawl that the staff all enjoyed helping him.
Student: Ma'am, I wonder if you can help me. I'm looking for a book on Injuns.
Librarian: What kind of Indians?
Student: Motorcycle Injuns.
335hodgetsr
My tongue now nearly bitten through, I asked if he had a particular subject in mind.
A big sigh from him, followed by "a medical one" (his tone suggested that he couldn't believe the incompetence of the staff in here).
"Right this way" I said, leading him to the correct section, and promptly running away. There was no way I was going to try and get anything more specific out of him!
These days I work in a University library, and get the much quoted "blue book" requests! That's if you are lucky, and they are not trying to get you to do an assignment for them.
336timepiece
Such restraint! After "one to read," I think I would have pointed to the stacks and said, "pick one."
337madlibn
My best "when I was a young librarian" story is this:
Our library had a literacy collection with the unfortunate designation of "Adult Reading Material." One Friday night when I was working alone, a man came in and asked for the "adult" books. I took him to this collection and explained these are books for adults learning to read. He replied that no, he was looking for "adult" books. I said that we didn't have anything like that and that I was very sorry. I was soooo embarrassed, but I kept a straight face!
338drawnstring
339saffron12
340beakerjen
341Nycticebus
for 340 - hah, yes! Our library has an automated retrieval system for older books. You use the online catalog to request a book from the system. Almost every time I give a tour, someone will ask "but what if the power goes out?" to which I gently explain that in such a situation the catalog will not work either, and yes, the stacks will be too dark for manual browsing. On the other hand, gotta love how intent some people are on constant access!
342saxhorn
"to boldly split an infinitive"
343lilithcat
in such a situation the catalog will not work either,
Yet another reason to mourn the loss of card catalogues!
and yes, the stacks will be too dark for manual browsing.
But surely you could hand out flashlights!
~smile~
344GMac
345Carnophile
346lebbercherrie
She was completely baffled.
Then there was another girl wo asked where our toilets were, so I showed her, "You go in between those set of stacks, and at the end you'll find a door and that's where our toilets are."
"So I can go to the toilet between the stacks?"
"No, ma'am, I prefer you use the toilet itself."
She didn't find that one funny, oh no....
347saxhorn
I had some down time yesterday and was reading through this thread. I kept getting funny looks from my co-workers as I couldn't successfully stifle my laugh. I shared one of the posts with my manager and she told me of a music related incident. My manager also plays piano and organ and frequently plays for services at her church. She was asked to play for a wedding, and when discussing suitable music the young bride to be asked, "Could you play the TacoBell Canon in D?"
For me, that was as good as "them Bitchin' Fries dogs --I think they're so cute."
353saxhorn
# 260 How would the patron know if you found the correct book? I'd laugh if you just gave him/her any old book and they said, "Thanks."
#334. I wonder if the patron was interested in vehicles produced by the Indian Motorcycle Company? My Dad used to race Indians.
354jlmaclean
355kmaziarz
How did "A Perfect Waiter" become "The Paper Thief," that's what I want to know!
356Nycticebus
I LOVE the idea of patrons browsing the dark stacks with flashlights. Maybe we could work that into some of our freshman orientation events. Just don't tell the "risk management" tyrants!
357FionaCat
There was also the man who stayed at the desk during an earthquake while the other clerk and I huddled under the back counter and expected us to check out his video before evacuating the building.
358Carnophile
Although he has some competition from my sister, who was an election observer in some country in the Americas. Shining Path threw a bomb into the hotel in which the observers were staying. When we inquired as to her safety, she remarked, "It was only a small bomb."
359ceg1674
"Can I bring my own books into the library?"
I so desperately wanted to tell him no.
360rockinrhombus
361bitter_suite
Girl: I need book X.
Librarian: Sorry, all our copies are checked out, and there's a waiting list.
Girl: There can't be a waiting list! I need to do the second part of my summer reading assignment.
Librarian: I'm sorry, but there's waiting list. Why didn't you do the second part when you did the first?
Girl: I didn't do the first part, I paid someone to do it for me! I was in Europe.
Of course we both felt so bad for her. Poor thing had to spend the summer in Europe...
362Nycticebus
>361 bitter_suite: I once had a girl at a college reference desk seeking to clarify a garbled citation in her paper that had been circled by the instructor. I suggested she might have some notes to consult, or perhaps she might remember how she had located the article. No, she said, because "my dumb mom" had done the research for her. When I raised my eyebrows she insisted defensively that she herself had written it all herself, so it was ok.
363madlibn
Another person called to ask for about 5 books on multi-level marketing. The titles seemed very technical but I was unfamiliar with the terminology. After looking up multi-level marketing I realized that the books were probably being recommended to her by the marketing company and she has to purchase them. I did not find copies in other libraries either.
Quite an interesting day altogether.
364bethielouwho
I have also been asked for biographical information about Willy Wonka.
365ShannonMDE
366timepiece
I just showed that to some of our teenagers today! Sadly, it's become a little out-of-date, since the last edition is from 2000. And even the last one didn't include my personal favorite thin recommendation, The Stepford Wives (123p!).
367librarianjojo
368msidell
"well what about one leg?" she said. Me - "Sorry I don't know that either" - with this she turned on her heel marched out snarling over her shoulder - " you don't know much do you"
369rarelibrarian
371Papiervisje
I applaud her for her curiosity.
If nobody ever told her who or what a Gutenberg is, how was she supposed to know? She did just the right thing. Go to a library that has a Gutenberg bible and ask.
372Booksloth
"Is it true that two white people can have a black baby without being in their jeans?"
(I think we'd agree that it's ALWAYS easier without the jeans!)
373Kimbrarian
374irva
And yet... "Do you carry DVDs?" is a perplexingly common question.
I also work in the library branch, where there is a similar phenomenon: Despite HUGE door signs, wall signs, and signage above the DVD/video rack... people commonly suggest "wouldn't it be great if you guys loaned out DVDs/videos?"
Sigh. Perhaps, if the brain doesn't expect to see something, the eyes are rendered incapable of perceiving the thing??
375jen83
377jen83
379theresak1975
We also get frequent requests for "The White Book" which I eventually discovered was a tan book called "Foundations of Nursing" written by Lois White.
380mschuyler
I would be the last to suggest that the question was intentionally misunderstood to create a sexual innuendo, but if you change 'jeans' to 'genes' the question makes a certain amount of sense. That someone reacted to this by thinking 'Levi's' rather than 'genetics' might have been a leap of faith. There is no difference in pronunciation between the two words and the questioner may simply have not known the difference.
The question is perhaps inexpertly phrased, but the point of a professional reference interview is to figure out what the questioner really means. As a question about genetics, it is asking about dominant and recessive genes. How can two brown-eyed people have a blue-eyed child? If both parents carry a recessive blue-eyed gene and they happen to match in the womb, then voila! Blue-eyed child. One in four chance (I think.) There is one chance of brown-brown, two chances of brown-blue, and one chance of blue-blue. Because brown wins when it is present, only the last one yields blue.
I don't really know the answer to the question for sure. I don't think it is possible because black is dominant and I know more than one gene is involved. Perhaps a geneticist can answer definitively. But the point is that the question itself is a legitimate one.
But, of course, you knew that.
381reginaromsey
382Booksloth
383Muirrian
And this isn't a request, but I overheard a mother say to her what, 4? year old son after reading him a version of the Gingerbread Man:
"See! If you don't listen to your parents you'll get eaten by a fox!"
Now *that's* some good parenting, lol....
384shadowpatches
By 10 minutes after closing, with 3 staff members telling her 'we're closed, come back tomorrow' our catalog started responding very slowly - I told her (again) to come back tomorrow, the catalog had been shut off for the night :)
385Booksloth
388mschuyler
389Booksloth
390QueenOfDenmark
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-377839/Black-white-twins.html
Mschuyler, you were right when you said we all already knew the texter meant 'genes' not 'jeans' and I'm sure Booksloths daughter did too when she got the text (and Booksloth I really want that job now I know it exists) but the spelling mistake did still make it a funny question so it fits here. Pretty much all the questions here are ligitimate but muddled somehow, it's the point of the thread.
#383 muirrain - I love that statement.
391kaelirenee
392saxhorn
396Nycticebus
397Carnophile
Miss Snark is a literary agent who occasionally receives mail from a would-be author saying "I have done a novel..."
Her response: "Kinky."
398quettandil
I work at a bookstore, and none of our calls are transferred from elsewhere, but I've still gotten used to people not knowing who they're calling -- sometimes just because the person is exceedingly strange, but normally because we called their cell to let them know their special order's arrived, and they call back without listening to the message first.
So I was a little surprised one day when I answered the phone with the name of our bookstore, the customer asked something like, "Who am I speaking to?", I repeated the name of the store, and she angrily replied, "I know THAT, what's YOUR name?!" Oops. How are you supposed to explain that you're so used to dealing with people who don't know who they're calling that you honestly thought she didn't know the number she'd dialed? I apologized, but at our store it's a pretty bad sign when a customer begins by asking for your name (they tend to be more demanding and easily offended than others -- they've learned to ask for names after being surprised that all employees don't magically know every single thing any other employee has said to them), and that was not one of my favorite conversations.
399quettandil
I don't know why, but it always seems like people are very hesitant to ask about popular titles, prefacing their requests with questions about whether or not we could look something up (a very valid question at a used bookstore), whereas customers who want obscure books just come right out with it. The first thing out of their mouth is the title.
The other day someone called and gave the typical statement, "I'm looking for a book...", although she said it a little more slowly than normal. I said, "Okay, what's the title?" I think she said a few more things very slowly, and finally, "It's a Harry Potter book, it's called The... Tales... of..." I'm afraid at that point I interrupted her, and asked, "Tales of Beedle the Bard?" She almost seemed disappointed that I knew what she was talking about.
400christabel1
I love it when people (especially graduating seniors) ask if we check out books. No, we just have library in large letting written all over the building to confuse people. ;)
The strangest request I've ever had was for ice and cups. That same day I later found in the Early Childhood Education the remnants of half a dozen limes. You do the math.
401Booksloth
402ShellyS
403isirion
does anybody know haw to get rid of that virus
i am supposed to write a school-assignment(library school) right now, but somehaw i'm stuck here on librarything
404RemyEC
405mdagosto
A lady walks up to me as everyone starts to file out and begins asking me a reference question. I suggest we take care of it after the fire dept gets here and says it is safe to re enter. She snaps at me that it is probably a false alarm and storms out. I could smell the smoke at this point. It was not a false alarm, a staff member did not know how to use the microwave (claims she doesn't own one) and set a bagel on fire. no serious damage.
406Booksloth
407DavidHWebb
The librarian says, "I'm sorry this is a library."
The blonde responds; in a whisper, "I'm sorry Could I have a burger and fries?"
To RemyEC #404
I have been working with a bookshop manager in a local suburb who is a school librarian, works three days in a bookstore and supports a writers group. I spoke to them last night and they are all writers or writers of the future.
I just think you all deserve a bit of a pat on the back!
408Papiervisje
How do you set a bagel on fire using a Microwave ?
412misericordia
413ShellyS
414bitter_suite
Patron: Um, do you... have a book...? I think it's called... Twilight? Or something...?
It's like they're afraid I won't know what they're talking about. In fact I know EXACTLY what they want. And last I checked the waiting list for Twilight was 533 people.
415weener
THis summer my library had a huge banner on front of the reference desk advertising a Twilight-themed prom party we held in anticipation of Breaking Dawn. So we would have patrons come up asking if we had the book "Twilight Prom."
416night_sky
Our Special Collections get patrons from time to time who want to use the census to trace their family back to Adam and Eve.
It is now difficult to find what a person printed on our print computer. So I asked a high school age girl what she had printed
My paper
What was it
What I printed...
417gracemcclain
418Booksloth
420Morphidae
422grkmwk
423Booksloth
424debherter
Spinning off from your post, I think the idea of a Twilight theme for prom is great. I'm going to suggest it to our Junior Class Sponsors.
425weener
We also made a backdrop to take photos of our partygoers which we posted on our Teen center's Myspace page. The staff and teens all dressed up in prom dresses. It was big fun. :)
426grkmwk
428Booksloth
429QueenOfDenmark
(I live near the test centre and see that happening at least five times a day)
431Marchbanks
It's a good thing she didn't ask that in a university town in the States; there, "blue book" is the generic name for 16-page or 32-page blank booklets sold for students' use in essay-answer examinations. Most of them are, indeed, bound in pale blue paper.
432khyron1144
Her older brother had given her an... alternate name for The Cat In The Hat. At least, that's what she says. The librarian was not amused. I still think it's funny.
Not quite as good, but when I was a lad, once I could actually read books, I pretty much stopped caring that most libraries are divided into children's and grownups's sections. So, when I was in about the third grade and asked the librarian about either the Iliad or The Odyssey and she said with a genuine look of confusion "I don't think we have any children's books by that title..."
It became a sort of family legend good for a chuckle. The way my stepdad tells it, I asked for Homer and was told they didn't have anything about The Simpsons, but I'm pretty sure I asked by title.
433khyron1144
I don't suppose you're a fan of Neil Gaiman's Sandman comic books? There is a character in the dream dimension named Lucien who is the librarian of the library where all stories go, including those that authors meant to write, the finished version of all those messy fragments and notes that authors leave around when they die, and that best selling spy novel that makes me a millionaire so I don't have to work again, that everyone dreams about while riding the bus.
434erinhughes
I work in an academic library, and a guy goes sailing out with unchecked out books. The sensor goes off, so I stop him and say, "Oh did you check those out and we forgot to desensitize?"
He says, "Um. You have to check these out? How?"
I actually stood there agape for a moment- he'd apparently *never* been in a library, and he was about to graduate college. Mind bender, huh?
435khyron1144
I started browsing this thread for a laugh, not actually being a librarian, but some of these stories remind me of funny things that I have personally seen.
I was at a public library with internet computers available for public use. A very un-computer-savvy woman came in to use one. She said she needed the do-not-call-list for telemarketers.
This is partly the librarian's fault for not really understanding the request, but I do think that if the befuddled patron had explained her purpose clearer she would have done better. Anyways, the librarian walks the lady through the process of getting a free email account from hotmail and then using that email account to put herself on the do-not-call-list.
Having accomplished this much, the patron asks, "So how do I actually get the list?"
Turns out, she was starting a job as a telemarketer and actually needed a copy of the do-not-call list to do her job.
So anyways, the general public is largely composed of idiots, and thanks much for doing a great job of putting up with us.
436khyron1144
That's a good one. For a good number of years, even after I was over 18, I was always embarrassed to check out anything that seemed like it might be a bit risque.
437khyron1144
There's a lot of new-agey stuff published as non-fiction based around the assumption that faeries exist. Might not be a public library's strong suit, though.
439tamara0605
440weareattached
441weareattached
The book you are thinking of is
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
by E. L. Konigsburg
#125
Could she have meant
The Stinky Cheese Man?
442irishwasherwoman
443FionaCat
I had a student walk up to the desk today with a novel in his hand, open to a page. He asked, "Do you have something that will tell me what a word means?" I pointed him to the large unabridged dictionary on the atlas stand.
How can a kid get to high school without knowing what a dictionary is??
445megkrahl
446amberamber
447awriterspen
Her friend was so confused as my daughter tried to explain the Dewey decimal system. I double-checked the book spine, sure enough, 818.
It's really amazing what sponges kids are at this age.
448theretiredlibrarian
449ShannonMDE
450mga318
"When was the book of Psalms written?'
Uhm, over a period of several hundred years...
"What was Mary and Joseph's last name?"
They didn't have those.
"Do you where the verse in the Bible is that talks about such & such?"
That last question once got me a 10 minute lecture over the phone since I couldn't answer it.
"How can you not know where that verse is! I was told by a librarian ten years ago that there would always be someone available to find verse references for me!!"
I promptly transferred her to the information desk, much to the frustration of my fellow librarian.
451queenscheherazade
452mokelley
453susan594
454susan594
455Christie
456Carnophile
457Booksloth
458mountebank
459Nickelini
460FionaCat
462yue
463Nickelini
464Collectorator
465theretiredlibrarian
466Nickelini
467Booksloth
470ShannonMDE
471theretiredlibrarian
472FionaCat
473yue
474jjwilson61
476megkrahl
477weener
Not a request per se, but I thought it was cute.
478Goldengrove
479imgoodinthestacks
I then had to inform them that practically all of the books in our collection, thousands and thousands of books, had green covers since that was the cover that we used when we had the books rebound.
The funniest part about the whole thing was that the patron was really angry that I couldn't help them.
480J.H.Dahler
I've had quite a few butchered titles. I once had a woman ask for
Through God's Eyes. Luckily the movie with Halle Berry had just come out and I realized right away that the woman was looking for, And Their Eyes Were Watching God.
481Nickelini
-----------
Sorry to go on a tangent, but why DO academic libraries rebind the books? Are the original bindings that poor? Can anyone point me to more information on this topic? I'd like to know what they actually do. It's been driving me crazy ever since I started university.
482Katya0133
At my old library (UIUC) it was cheaper to buy the books in paperback and have them rebound than it was to buy them in hardback.
483FionaCat
484Nycticebus
485Nickelini
486Vanye
I tutored a lot of students when i was at that college in writing papers for various classes & many of them were attempting said classes w/o having taken even English 101. I told most of them that they needed to drop that class & enroll in English 101 (& hopefully pass it) before taking anymore classes which might include the writing of a term paper. Kids coming out of high school at that time (25 yrs. ago) were not ready to write @ the college level. I took a term paper class before moving on to University & learned even more about the process. 8^)
487ShannonMDE
Me: Those overdue notices are worded so they can go to anyone. We didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Patron: Well, I don't care how other people get through the day but these books are how I get through the day and I don't like being told I'm abusing your service.
Me: Would you like to speak to a supervisor?
She had one overdue..
488susan594
489Christopher.Altnau
"Have you got any Shakespeare in proper English'??!!
=================================================
I've often gotten blank stares when I tell people that Shakespeare was written in modern English. One guy kept insisting that it was in middle English, to the point where I was forced to drag him down to my thesis supe's office and get HIM to tell the guy that I was correct, ha ha.
490Christopher.Altnau
I would have introduced the person to the wonders of Google :)
491Booksloth
492jlynno84
494bibberly
We lost power for a little under 24 hours, but our school went on as usual during this time. We locked the door to the copy room as there was no need for anyone to be in there (and it was dark without windows, so we feared someone might get hurt). Several teachers tried to plead their case with me that their document was very important and I should allow them access to the machine. Finally, I just let them go in and try it. :)
We didn't have any books on a topic that a student needed, and he had waited until the last minute so there was no time for an ILL. I looked online and found that the nearest public library had a few books available, so I suggested that as an option for him. I said that if he had his library card with him, he could enter it right on the site to place a hold on the items (several other students were using similar topics, so he was concerned the books might not last). He then asked me if that meant the library would deliver the books to his house. He was disappointed when I told him no.
A different student asked me if the public library was free to enter or if you have to pay a cover charge to get in. He was very happy with my answer!
495Felagund
This is actually not such an unreasonable expectation. Many libraries will send books to your home - for a fee, usually.
496yue
497weareattached
498ShannonMDE
499Katya0133
It definitely makes sense that you'd mail books to patrons with those types of special needs, and I know that many university ILL departments will deliver books to a professor's office, but I don't know of any libraries who will mail books to just any patron.
I notice that Felagund is in Switzerland, though, so perhaps it's common in Europe?
500Felagund
501Collectorator
502imgoodinthestacks
The books were rebound for several reasons, depending on the book. Older books were rebound if they were falling apart and had no great monetary value. If they were of value, they would be sent to the conservation department.
Journals are often bound together. Newer books are actually really poorly bound; most of them are just glued together without any proper binding techniques, so it is actually imperative that these books get rebound. It will greatly extend their lifespan.
503Nickelini
504Carnophile
Sure, Collectorator, go ahead and start one.
On a related note, when this thread had 503 posts the group page only showed it having 490. Strange...
505HoldenCarver
506Carnophile
507ejj1955
In both my junior and senior years of high school we had to write a term paper with proper footnotes and bibliography--what Sister Clare Marie didn't teach us about writing research papers wasn't worth knowing. Those papers caused a lot of anxiety for the students, but it was sooooo worth it when I got to college.
508rgurskey
My high school senior English teacher required the same thing; including the use of at least one ibid. and one op. cit.
509cyanbe
512megkrahl
513Miela
Recently, my local library started a program where they will mail books put on hold for a small fee, about $ 2.50, I believe. Although I haven't heard much about other libraries with this program.
(Oh, and I've greatly enjoyed this thread; as a life-long library patron, I appriciate (spelling?) all of you valiant librarians!)
515RebeccaS
Did I do that right?
Anyway RCPL in Rapid City SD was doing a mailed hold program for no charge while I was working there. Last I heard they were still doing so, though I think there has been some discussion on charging a fee because it was getting rather expensive.
http://www.librarything.com/profile.php?view=RapidCityPubLib
516bibberly
We do have the service where you can request a book from another library to be delivered to your branch for pickup. This has been somewhat restricted due to budget cuts, but I am SO grateful that it exists, especially now that I live in a hick town!
517skf
518manatree
I was quite upset when we sent one of our directories, that is actually called 'The Brown Book', and yes, the color was brown, to our collection care folks and they had it rebound in blue. So now we have a blue book with the title 'Brown Book' clearly displayed on the spine. With the net, printed directories collect a lot of dust, but I still get a chuckle every time I see it.
Also, several years ago, we went through our collection and put labels on the shelves with call numbers and the corresponding subjects in an effort to help our patrons learn the lay of the land....NA737 - American Architects, etc...
We had one student with a sly sense of humor who labeled the shelf with most of Mies van der Rohe's monographs the Mies van der Row.
519manatree
520goydaeh
Patrons will probably remember the blue Brown Book a lot more easily than most other titles though.
521midnightblues
Your toddler-translation skills are awesome! Maybe you should write a book :-)
I'm not a librarian (information management in engineering is my thing) but I have had the experience of "Do we have any information on this circuit breaker?" Now, the company I worked for made the things. How much information would you like?
Another favourite was "Have we got this drawing?" and quoting me a number. Then looking at me like I know straight off my head instantly. We had about 250,000 live records, and access to several million. Actually, sometimes I did know...and it was even more fun when they didn't have a number.
522FionaCat
524johnxlibris
526Naberius
I also have the added apprehension about it breaking just as I'm threading microfilm through it.... (or showing someone how to read microfiche....)
527nykolaibasket
528FFortuna
529weener
When no teen book came up in the catalog, I asked her what it was about. She said "A boy having a baby."
The only reason I came up with The Last Part First by Angela Johnson, in which a teen father raises his baby daughter Feather, is because I was on the holds list for it. Great book, by the way.
On a related note, I just had a girl ask me for a realistic fiction series about teen issues. She thinks the author's first name is Ann or Anne, and described the books as "small." She remembered nothing else about the books and I am totally clueless.
530FFortuna
531FionaCat
533Goldengrove
534ejj1955
535PAHB
536kevmalone
(Touchstones!!!!! Aargh)
But you should probably try the "Name That Book" group
537theretiredlibrarian
On the other hand, my mother always let me read whatever I wanted, and I was reading adult books by the 6th grade. And had my own (now grown)children asked (they were sadly, nonreaders!) I'm not sure what my answer would have been.
538Bdotjohn
539foggidawn
541Marchbanks
Ye gods and little fishes! If that title's an example of the kind of Latin schools are teaching these days, I fear for the language. A much better translation, IMO, would be "Henricus Poterius et lapis philosophorum."
542TomWingfield
544gaialover
LibrarianFu
Mind Reading
PSP
People skills combined with database use combined with knowledge of random facts
Take your pick ;-)
546mwilson.ccpl
548Janientrelac
549fugitive
1.
Patron: Where do you keep all the forms?
Me: What type of forms do you need? Do you need small business incorporation forms? Tax forms? Registration at the University? ...
Patron: You're a library, you have all the forms. Where are they!!!
(despite stubborn gentle prompting on my part, the patron never waivered from asking where "all the forms" were.)
2.
Patron: I need to know about all the religions.
Me: Any particular area of religion? Modern, ancient? Western, eastern? ...
Patron: No, I just need to know everything about all religions.
Me: You could use the Encyclopedia of Religion (to which I directed him).
(He spent the next 8 hours happily going through each volume and thanked me when I left).
I'm waiting for someone to ask me the "Ultimate Question" to which I can definitively answer: 42.
550weener
My mom (also a librarian) basically got that question once. A teenager who had basically been kept indoors his whole life by religious parents and didn't know anything about the world came up to her and asked her what it was all about. She's like, "What specifically do you want to know about?" He says, "Everything. What is life about? I want to know everything."
Unfortunately, I don't think she went the "42" route with him.
5511luckylibrarian
The Great God Spy (for The Great Gatsby), and
Lord of the Dragonflies (for Lord of the Flies)
552MrAndrew
It would have to be better than "Lord of the Files". You know, that book by William Gloding.
553Lavinient
554ShannonMDE
555manatree
556timepiece
Oh, me too. I have a little 4-drawer one I use for odds and ends, but I'd love a furniture sized piece. I saw the greatest one on eBay once, with two file-size drawers, but couldn't afford the shipping cross-country:
Yes, I saved the pic in case I can ever ask around at antique stores. I want it that much.
558Aerrin99
We did find people to take them, but most went for garage type storage I think. It would have been nice to give some to enthusiastic booklovers!
If you really want one, it might be worth contact university libraries in the area and see if any have some sitting around still... ours had been in our upstairs hall taking up room for 12 years.
559timepiece
560Naberius
562Aerrin99
563irelandapaige
Student: Hi, I need some monologues from 1930 to 1950.
Me: Ok.
Student: I'd really like stuff by Oscar Wilde.
Me: Oh, well, Oscar Wilde was a little before then. How about I find you some books with many monologues in them to choose from?
Student: No, I'd really like something from Oscar Wilde. I think he was doing some revisions about that time...
564msladylib
I still can't figure out how I knew. Weird things like this make librarians very spooky people...
Edited for spelling
565kaelirenee
I just had a young man ask if he could rent a book for a couple of hours. Sigh. I should have charged him.
566Booksloth
569theretiredlibrarian
And how many come in and want "the book that so-and-so had last week." Sure, little dude, I remember every book every kids checks out every week. Actually, I have been known to come up with the right book. Which is kind of scary.
570kaelirenee
571goydaeh
And how many come in and want "the book that so-and-so had last week."
I've gotten this from plenty of adults.
@570
Careful now.
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=72228
572theretiredlibrarian
573skf
In a computerized library, is there a list of books that I've checked out in the past? A couple of times I've wanted to ask if there was a way I could find the name of a book I checked out previously because either I wanted infor from it, hadn't finished it, or my husband wanted to read it, but I couldn't remember the name. I haven't had the nerve to ask, though.
574kmaziarz
575jjwilson61
576skf
577Nickelini
578littleshell
579msladylib
581CliffordDorset
What we need is some internet software capable of holding such things. I think I'll invent it ... and call it ... what? ... I know ... ThingLibrary!
.
582fugitive
The Reading History feature is available on Innovative Interfaces Millenium systems (and users have to intentionally opt in, something I've done). If your library uses Millenium but this feature isn't available, ask them about it.
583skf
> 582 How do I know if my library uses Millenium? I use their online services all the time.
584fugitive
Two ways.
1. Look at the bottom of your OPAC screen; if it says "WebPAC PRO © Innovative Interfaces, Inc." chances are you're an III Millenium system."
2. Post your library and we can probably look at it and tell what's being used (probably).
585goydaeh
586judy64
587theretiredlibrarian
588ShannonMDE
589mikeandsarahlibrary
590jazzycat
In the libraries I've worked at (UK and NZ) it is possible to retrieve your recent loan history, up to almost a year .
591sialia
592IWantToBelieve
1.)"Do you have a cell phone I could use?"
2.) After the patron had stood for what seemed a very long time reading our cell phone usage sign (which says clearly take the phone calls outside)...
"So, can I use my phone in here?"
3.) A co-worker on the phone: "No ma'am, this is the library you'll have to go to an eye doctor to get your eyes checked, I'll transfer you to the reference librarian, who can help you find one." (I love it)
593maumeechildlibrarian
Our library name badges only have our first name and then "Librarian" right below that in the same type. (Which, I'll grant you DOES make it look a bit like all the staff have the last name of "Librarian" but still...) ;-)
594Katya0133
The head of our special collections dept. has the last name "Hollinger" . . .
595ShannonMDE
596timepiece
Oh, god that would drive me insane. I hate having people I don't know calling me by my first name. Luckily for me, my ID has Lastname, FirstInitial only.
597Belladonna1975
598bell7
600tymfos
#596 It's MUCH better, security wise, if last name is NOT on the name tag. Otherwise, it's too easy for "weirdos" to look someone up away from work. When I was single, my phone directory listing was by last name, first initial -- and my name on my apartment building's mailbox was that way, too. Back when I lived alone in a big city, I would NOT have wanted some of the characters I encountered at work to be able to find me that easily!
601foggidawn
602timepiece
My phone is unpublished, because my husband is paranoid. Not to mention I live in a different city than I work in. Not worried on that point.
603theretiredlibrarian
604mamzel
605timepiece
606theretiredlibrarian
Every time I walk into the cafeteria when the preschoolers are eating, I gets shouts of "Hi, Miss Librarian!" over and over, and then "Bye Miss Librarian!" as I leave. It's like being a celebrity, lol.
607guido47
Could the Powers That Be, "PTB" in future references, please split this post as it is getting too long and loads slowly.
I am not qualified as I am neither a librarian (think of me as a groupy) nor
do I have any amusing anecdotes to regale you with, alas.
Guido.
608sqdancer
609PlumsteadManor
610slithytove13
611banadura
I once had a patron come up to me after using a computer and say, all excited, "I just won the Coca-Cola Lottery!!!"
I confirmed that she had opened an email from someone she didn't know, and that the "lottery" required her to send them her personal information. I explained to her that this was spam, discussed internet scams with her, and reminded her that Coca-Cola is a private company, and does not have a lottery. And even if they did, she never bought a ticket to said lottery. To which she replied "yeah, but I really need the money, so will you help me send them an email?"
612EmScape
613BookyVT
615theretiredlibrarian
Me: No, there's only Rock, Paper and Scissors.
Third Grader (to another Third Grader): I told you so. Mrs. S. says there's no Volcano.
So happy to be able to settle game disputes. Didn't even have to look that one up! However, it makes me wonder where the heck did the idea of "Volcano" in the game came from? Amyone?
616Booksloth
Ed for typos
617MrAndrew
http://www.search.com/reference/Rock,_paper,_scissors
I liked these variants:
Mushi-ken ("vermin hands"), in which Snake beats Frog, Frog beats Slug, and Slug beats Snake.
"...players may throw the "Hand of God", the whole hand held out shaking it slightly, which beats everything but the Flagon Tri. If both players throw the Hand of God, a draw is declared, and both players must punch each other in the head. Easily intimidated players will thus shy away from throwing this hand."
I also like "muk muk muk" from South Korea, which apears to be a game of rock rock rock.
618ejj1955
http://www.samkass.com/theories/RPSSL.html
619laura.angel80
620MrAndrew
I keep mine under a stack of C.S.I. Lewis books (The Karmia Chronicles).
621weener
I took this video of some of my students playing a rambunctious version of Scrabble, and they do gawi bawi po at the beginning to decide who goes first.
They're so cute.
622librariankayla
Another request I love is when patrons ask for a book like this, "I'm looking for a book, I believe it has the word Heaven in the title, and the author's last name starts with an H but his first name is Tony, I think."
624Hagelstein
Me: "You mean The Great Gatsby?"
Patron: "No. Just The Gatsby."
Me: "By Fitzgerald?"
Patron: "I don't know."
Me" "I think I know what you mean."
625theretiredlibrarian
Does the Tooth Fairy have her own teeth?
626Nickelini
From the fabulous Blackwell Books in Oxford.
627theretiredlibrarian
Her: Do you have any more of those magoon books?
Me: I afraid I don't know those books.
Her: Stevie just checked out one.
Me: (looks up Stevie on the computer to see what she checked out this morning. Turns out it's the "Black Lagoon" books)
628manatree
630TheFoggiest
"Do you have any photographs of the Spanish Inquisition?"
"How do I apply for sovereignty?"
"Do you have a biography of Rosetta Stone?"
"I need a list of companies that can freeze-dry my dog."
"Do you have a world guide to nude beaches?"
"Does the Geneva Convention prohibit torture by rock music?"
And in the suggestion box: "All very nice, especially the man and the woman with gray hair!"